


Wandless Strength

by luv_u_4eva_418



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Cheating, Flashbacks, Hurt, M/M, Pain, Self Harm, excessive magic, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luv_u_4eva_418/pseuds/luv_u_4eva_418
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry overcomes personal defeats, cheating boyfriends (past and present), magic beyond his imagination, and loss of family and friends. Does he finally defeat the one person that is bent of killing them all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wandless Strength

**This story takes place during Harry’s summer break between his sixth and seventh years. Disregard OoP, HBP, and DH. None of the people that have died in those books are dead.**

***~*~*~*~***

He had started training again the second he was able to get away from the Dursley’s house. He already figured that he would be without his wand and most of his books while he was there, so he shrunk some of the books he borrowed from Snape and Dumbledore.

 

When he made it to the Burrow to ride out the rest of the summer he sent a message to Dumbledore requesting his permission to start training for the upcoming battle. He received an okay, and also was told that members of The Order along with some of his Professors were going to be coming by to help with his training.

 

As the summer wore on his training became more and more intense. McGonagall was helping him with Transfigurations; helping his understand how to become an Animagus too. Flitwick was helping him with Charms; because according to him ‘You never know when you are going to be attacked and you might not have the proper weapons on hand.’

 

He even had some Aurors helping him in the dueling department. They would test him three or four times a week, needing to make sure he was slowly building up his stamina for what was sure to be a long battle.

 

The one thing he hadn’t been tested on was wandless magic. No one thought that he could do it, and they were unwilling to test him just to find out that he couldn’t do it. They knew that if he was told he couldn’t do it he would over work himself until he mastered the craft. But what they didn’t know was that he could do it; he had mastered it by himself.

 

The one person that had helped him the most was Snape. He helped Harry delve into the darker aspects of being a wizard. He was also willing to duel Harry, and was one of the only ones who would actually use darker curses against him. And surprisingly enough, he was helping Snape with some of the more difficult Potions.

 

He was proud of himself too. He kept his strength whenever he saw a certain piece of leather tucked into the bottom of his trunk. He hadn’t had to use it the entire summer except for a few times, but he couldn’t help that.

 

He hated knowing that he was strong in many areas when it came to using magic but he was weak in other areas. Weak when it came to listening to his heart and mind together, not as separate entities.

 

But this year things were going to be different. Classes were going to be harder this year, and the training was literally going to kill him before the damn war was over. But, he also had someone who was in his corner; who had his back no matter what.

 

This is how things were when school went back into session for Harry’s seventh year.

 

_Harry and Draco were dating._

_Ron and Hermione were dating._

_Ginny and Viktor were dating._

_Harry was still going to be tutored outside of the classroom to prepare him for the upcoming battle._

_With all the training that he had been given no one, Dumbledore and Snape included, knew how strong Harry’s magic was._

_**But they were sure to find out in the first weeks of school.** _

__

__

_***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~** _

__

__

Harry was happy to settle back into the routine of things in regards to school. He was happy to be able to see most of the other students that he had grown up here with, except for a couple though. Their parents deemed it too unsafe to be sending their children out, what with a crazy snake-faced maniac running around.

 

He was happy to be back home…going to his classes. He was happy to be training again too; his body had become used to the heavy training it had been put through over the summer.

 

He wasn’t too thrilled with the thought of being taught by a certain professor and his assistant. Those two were still on his ‘shit – list’ right below Voldemort. But Dumbledore told him that he would not need to interact with either one, just attend the class and do the work.

 

He wasn’t happy, though, with the looks he had been getting since the start of school. He was used to being stared at because of his scar, but these looks were different and he didn’t know why.

 

One day while studying in the library with Ron, Hermione, and Neville he threw down his quill in frustration. His study partners all jumped when he started venting his frustrations.

 

“Why is everyone staring at me? Haven’t we been through this enough during the past six years? I am Harry freaking Potter!! We have known each other for a while now!!”

 

Hermione was the first to respond “Shhhh…keep it down. Everyone knows who you are Harry, that’s not why they are looking at you.”

 

“Well, why then? They have no reason to stare at me.”

 

She looked at Ron and Neville for help answering his questions. They knew that his question needed to be answered, but they didn’t really know how to respond.

 

_Was he really that blind and oblivious?_

 

“Mate” Ron started “You have changed quite a bit over the summer.”

 

“Yeah…Harry…you’re different.” Neville said, but continued when Harry shot him a look. “Not in a bad way, you just don’t look the same.”

 

“Harry, you got hot!” Hermione just had to add something in the conversation.

 

He thought about what his friends had just told him, and realized that what they were saying was, in fact, kind of true. When he left school at the end of his sixth year he was still small for his age, no matter how much he tried to eat during the year. He was often mistaken for someone much younger; that was when people could not see his scar.

 

But things had changed over the summer.

 

When he left his aunt and uncles house and he started up his training his body started rapidly changing. He shot up to a respectful 5’11, and he started gain muscle mass too. He let his hair grow down to his shoulder blades, so instead of being a messy mop uptop his head it was a longer messy mop. He had traded in his glasses and let Snape magically correct them.

 

Basically, all in all, he had become a totally different person. And this new person was attracting more attention that he didn’t need at this point in his life. He had this impossible mission ahead of him and he didn’t need this unwanted attention on him…again.

 

Bringing himself back to the Library he looked at his friends. They seemed to have noticed that he had gotten lost in his mind, and were not about to disrupt him. They had realized over the summer that when he was like this, it was his only time to be calm.

 

“I’m going to go for a walk.”

 

“Do you want us to come with you?” Hermione asked, even though she knew what his answer was going to be. He had been taking these evening walks since he arrived at the Burrow during the summer, and had yet to change his evening schedule.

 

“No. I will be fine. Just need to clear my mind before going to bed.”

 

*~*

**Outside, walking**

*~*

 

He was tired. Tired of it all. Tired of having the entire Wizarding world looking to him for some sort of salvation.

 

Why did everything have to rest on his shoulders? He wasn’t even 17 yet, but everyone was still counting on him.

 

Would they still want him if they knew what was going on inside his head? What if they knew what happened during his fifth year? Would they want him then?

 

If they knew that his boyfriend left him, cheated on him, would they think any less of him?

 

I mean, damn it, he was Harry freaking Potter!

 

If he couldn’t keep his significant other entertained, or at least faithful what would that say to people? That he wasn’t worth it? He wasn’t worth the relationship.

 

So lost in his thoughts he was he failed to notice two figures coming out of the Forbidden Forest. When they spotted him they started his way, not knowing what they were about to get themselves into.

 

“Harry…”

 

He froze when he heard his name being spoken with that voice. He had told both of them not to speak to him, not to look at him, just forget about him.

 

_Why, of all times, are they trying to talk to me now? Why don’t they just get the hint?_

_Where the hell is Snape when I need him?_

“Harry, please, just talk to us…”

 

There is the other voice he didn’t want to hear. He ignored it; both of them. But he knew that they were persistent little buggers, and they would stop at nothing to try to have a few words with him.

 

He kept walking, willing them to go back into the forest or at least head into the castle. He needed them to leave him alone, for he was still unsure of his control over his magic.

 

They, however, were not getting the hint that he didn’t want to talk to them and continued to follow him.

 

Then, Sirius was stupid. He made a dumb mistake. Where his mind was at that moment, no one knew, but it wasn’t working in his head.

 

Catching up with Harry Sirius had the bright idea to reach out and touch his left shoulder. Unprepared for the reaction that Harry had to his touch he unceremoniously was thrown back fifteen feet.

 

“Do not touch me. Do not talk to me. Do not look at me.” Harry said this with venom dripping off his voice. “I have already told you, both of you, that I will never talk to you again. When it must be done, I will however acknowledge you in public, but nothing beyond that.”

 

Lupin ran to where his mate had fallen. Looking up at Harry he was dumbfounded to see this boy they cared so much for turn so ugly at a drop of a hat.

 

“Harry…can you let us explain?”

 

“What? What is there to say? How can you wipe away what I saw? Explain that to me. I mean really, explain your actions to me and see if I believe anything that comes out of your mouth.”

 

Turning to leave he threw one last disgusted glance in their direction. He still couldn’t believe they thought he was that dense as to forgive what they had done to him.

 

“Please Harry” he barely heard Sirius’ plea.

 

“Cant. Sorry. Meeting someone.”

 

Leaving the two of them in front of the castle should have been one of the hardest things that he had to do, but it wasn’t. He had hardened his heart towards the two of them over a year ago, and there was nothing either could do to change that.

 

*~*

**An hour later**

*~*

 

Harry realized what time it was and quickly made his way back to the castle. Even though he knew he could get away with begin caught out after curfew he didn’t want to risk getting caught. No one outside of The Order and a few select friends knew Snape was helping train Harry for the final battle.

 

He quietly made his way into the castle and started to trek down to the dungeon classroom that Snape occupied. So lost in his musing he failed to notice the classroom door that stood open just until he got to it and looked into the room.

 

When he did he was shocked to see a couple involved in a mouthwatering liplock. It wasn’t one that looked like it was being done by one party; rather it was enjoyed by both parties. He couldn’t tell who the two were because of the lack of light in this particular room.

 

He kept staring into the room for some reason. It was like the castle was telling him that he needed to figure out who these two people were. Trying to get more comfortable, Harry guessed, they moved slightly so they were pressed against the wall.

 

That’s when he knew who these two were. And in that moment of clarity all the anger, resentment, anguish, pain and every other emotion he had been holding in for the past 17 years came rushing to the top, all at once.

 

In all the times he had practiced over the summer Harry and everyone else failed to realize how tightly his emotions were wrapped around his magic. It was common knowledge that all magic was tied to the witch or wizards emotions, but it was unknown how tight the bond was. Each person was different, just like their magic. Those training Harry failed to see that when he was calm his magic flowed smoother, but when he was angry or upset his magic was stronger and more uncontrollable.

 

This was really stupid, when you think about it. Everyone should have known that his magic was more wrapped up in him than anyone else.

 

In those seconds after finding them together he could feel his anger rising, and also felt his magic starting to build. He felt it starting to seep out of his fingertips, wanting to lash out at those who were hurting him.

 

Stepping into the room he wasn’t surprised when they failed to notice him. They were so wrapped up in one another that he was halfway across the room before they saw him; Charlie being the first.

 

Harry saw as Charlie looked his way and he caught the small smile that graced his face before they pulled apart making his magic flare around him. Draco looked around when he realized the kiss had ended. When his eyes landed on his boyfriend his pale face got even paler.

 

“Harry…” he started to say, but was quickly quieted with a wave of Harry’s hand.

 

Neither Charlie nor Draco said anything….they couldn’t. All they could do was stand there and watch as Harry’s anger and hurt took hold of him. Neither knew how closely his emotions and magic were intertwined, but they were to find out this evening.

 

He could feel his magic starting to take hold of him and he knew that there was nothing that he could do to stop it. He didn’t want to stop the destruction that was about to occur. He didn’t want to hurt the man he loved, _loved_ but he had to protect himself from the pain that was taking hold of his heart and mind.

 

None of them realized when Snape stepped into the room having seen everything that had taken place. When he walked upon the Weasley boy and his Godson kissing the week before, he knew that it would just be a matter of time before Potter found out. He also knew that when Potter was to find out he would probably need to be there to help defuse the situation.

 

Snape watched as Harry stood in the middle of his classroom, processing the information he just received. As the seconds wore on Snape saw how Harry’s magic was gaining strength, as it was fueled by his emotions.

 

He saw Harry silence Draco with a wave of his hand, and in that instant knew that this young man standing in front of him was far more dangerous than anything he had faced before. Not dangerous in the ways of Voldemort, but dangerous in the fact that he had magic that he was surprisingly able to control…even at this young of an age.

 

Snape could see the magic rolling off of him at his every breath, and he was waiting for the first rolls of it to hit the shelves along the walls. Knowing it was only a matter of time before the quakes started, he quickly threw up strengthening charms on the jars that lined his classroom.

 

When the charms were thrown up behind him he realized that Snape had entered his classroom. He was surprised, just for a moment that his professor didn’t reprimand him as he normally would.

 

Turning his attention back to his boy-no make that his ex-boyfriend and that Weasley boy he felt his fury rise again and began to shake when he felt the amount of magic that had built up. He tried to calm himself down using breathing techniques that Snape and Dumbledore had taught him, but in a second he lost control.

 

Charlie reached out and brought his hand to Draco’s shoulder, pulling the younger boy to him. Draco, he saw, didn’t try to fight the movement but went willingly into the embrace.

 

All at once he could no longer control himself.

 

Those standing in the room were shocked to see the magic begin to roll off of Harry as if he were standing underneath a waterfall. It was pouring off of him, knocking the tables and chairs in the room over and pushing them up against the walls.

 

The jars that lined the walls started shaking and one by one they began falling to the ground. When they didn’t break Harry wasn’t shocked and slowly raised his hands up in front of him. That brought the jars up into the air and with a flick of his right hand they began to fly around the room.

 

Snape was shocked to see how much wandless magic Harry was able to perform. What shocked him even more was when he realized that he was surrounded by a protective barrier, which kept the jars and desks from coming near him.

 

He knew that he was going to have to get Harry under control before he destroyed this side of the castle.

 

“Potter. Listen to me. You need to calm yourself.”

 

With those words a wind picked up in the room and more things started flying. With a squint of his eyes Harry started aiming things in Charlie and Draco’s way. He needed them to feel the pain he was feeling at that moment.

 

He knew that he couldn’t hurt Snape. He didn’t want to hurt him. He was the only one who treated him like he wasn’t made of glass. He was the one who was helping him train for the upcoming battle. He was the one constant in his life.

 

Snape knew that he was going to need to push harder for Potter to listen to him. He slowly made his way over to stand behind him.

 

Placing his hand on Harry’s shoulder he said “Harry, please stop. Regain control over your emotions.”

 

Harry was surprised when he felt the hand land on his shoulder, but instantly began to reign in his emotions. He felt his magic drawing back in, and watched as the objects flying through the room slowly made their way to the floor.

 

Snape turned to the other two occupants and sharply stated “I recommend you two gentlemen leave this classroom immediately. I will not be responsible for the actions taken by Mr. Potter if my warning is not heeded.”

 

He watched as Draco and Charlie fled the room, but not before Charlie threw a haughty look in Harry’s direction. Snape watched in wonderment as a jar containing cockroaches flew across the room and smashed into the wall just beside Charlie’s head. Turning back to Harry he saw that the boy’s eyes were closed.

 

_Did he have his eyes shut the entire time?_

Neither said anything for a while after the door slammed shut.

 

Harry because he couldn’t believe he let himself get that involved with someone, again. He let his heart guide him instead of his head and look where it got him.

 

He felt the urge to run out of the room and head for his dormitory. Up there was his salvation. Up there was the one thing that could make this entire day seem halfway better.

 

Snape was quiet for a whole different reason. Yes, he was shocked at the power that this young man possessed inside him; he was scared even. He knew that the power he had could corrupt any man, but knew deep down that Harry wouldn’t let that happen. He was shocked that Draco had so foolishly led Harry along; all the while knowing that he wasn’t that serious about him.

 

How could anyone treat him like Draco and Charlie just did? Did they not realize how much that betrayal would sting? Did they not see how much he came to depend on Draco as these months went on? Especially with Voldemort bearing down on those close to him.

 

Snape was shaken out of his thoughts when Harry spoke up.

 

“It’s okay Professor. I should have known that something like that was going to happen. It always does. Whenever anything bad is going to happen to anyone, it always happens to me.” Lifting his head and opening his eyes he surveyed the damage done to the classroom. “Sorry for destroying your room too. I didn’t realize that I had gotten that mad.”

 

Snape watched in amazement when Harry lifted his hands and without uttering a word made all the jars, desks, stools and other bits of junk lying on the floor fly back into their proper place around the room.

 

“Potter…where did you learn that?” He watched as Harry looked embarrassed. “You have been practicing, haven’t you? Who else has been training you?”

 

“No one sir. No one other than the regular trainers. Honest. I have been going to the Room of Requirement to train, and while in there I catch up on my reading. There always seems to be a new selection of reading material in there. Makes Hermione happy.”

 

Harry turned around with a sigh, knowing that he would kill Voldemort before he got over this most recent heartbreak. He really should have known not to trust a Malfoy, but decided to follow his heart and not listen to those around him.

 

He knew that even though no one said anything directly to him, not many people approved of his relationship with Draco. Those most opposed to it were Ron and the twins. They seemed to know more about what was going on than they let know. It was as if they knew that he was cheating on Harry, but they didn’t have the heart to tell him.

 

Thinking of that though, he knew that even if someone were to tell him about Draco cheating on him, he would be inclined to ignore that person. He would quickly go to Draco to confirm or deny these allegations and then in turn completely disregard the person spreading those lies.

 

_Too trusting. Too damn trusting. When am I ever going to learn not to trust anyone else with my heart? Remember what happened last time that happened? Got burned. Too trusting._

Snape was watching as Harry seemed to drift off into a memory, and he began to wonder what was going through the young man’s mind. He remembered that something had happened to him back when he was in his sixth year but didn’t know too much about the incident.

 

“Potter…we can postpone our training for tonight. You have stressed your magic enough.” He saw that Harry was going to protest but shook his head. “We will train tomorrow. Come by here at the same time and we will take up the training then.”

 

All Harry could do was nod his head. Even if Snape wouldn’t train him tonight, that didn’t mean he couldn’t go study by himself. He could go up to the library and look through the defense books yet again.

 

But he shook his head at that thought. He didn’t want to risk running into any of his classmates, because they might wonder why he was there by himself.

 

Nodding his head to the professor he turned and walked out of the classroom in the direction of the Great Hall, instead of heading for his dorm. He knew that if he made the trek up there that he wouldn’t be able to train for the next couple of days, and he needed that outlet.

 

He decided to forgo dinner and made his way out to the Black Lake. This was one of the only places that was able to calm him in these trying times. Being able to sit on the edge of the lake and listen to the water splashing on the shore…that helped calm his agitated nerves.

 

Sitting himself under his favorite tree he let his mind wander to last year…

 

_***Flashback*** _

__

_Harry had been dating Bill Weasley for eight months and surprisingly no one really protested the couple, even though there were nearly ten years between the two of them._

_He was happy because Bill was back at the castle for the year. He had been sent there by the Goblins to train the most astute seventh years about curse breaking. That meant they were able to spend a little time together. *Smile*_

_Harry was walking through Hogwarts towards the DADA classroom, wanting to surprise Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. They were sharing the responsibilities of teaching the class, but that didn’t really bother the two of them…being mates and all._

_As he walked into the classroom he heard a commotion coming from the Professors office, and began hoping he wasn’t walking into something he didn’t need to see. Walking up the stairs towards the office door he saw that it wasn’t closed and peeked into the room._

_Closing his eyes unchecked tears began running down his face. Before he could stop it his sadness turned into anger and all at once the windows in their office all shattered at once, scaring the occupants in the room._

_Turning and running down the steps he needed to get out of there before they realized he was there. He didn’t need the three of them coming down on him at once. He couldn’t take it._

_He needed the scrap of leather. Needed it bad. He could almost feel the smooth handle in his hands, but kept his mouth shut. He did not need the temptation of calling it to him._

_Without looking behind him he ran out of the room, vaguely hearing his named being yelled behind him. He couldn’t face them, not now and probably not ever. Not after what he had seen._

_He kept going until he got to the Potions classroom, and quietly slipped into the room. Snape was teaching what looked like second years and the previously quite class quickly erupted into whispers._

_“Quiet!” Snape thundered when they started up. He tipped his head towards his office and Harry, knowing what Snape meant, made his way there._

_Settling himself on the couch he picked up one of the Potions Magazines in front of him. He needed to keep his mind busy; had to keep it busy. He did not want to replay in his mind the scene he just witnessed._

_Snape walked into his office thirty minutes later, after he thoroughly berated his class for their dismal attempt at the potion he had them make._

_“Potter…what is going on? Why did you come when I was teaching?”_

_Harry pondered what Snape said, and wondered if he should tell him the truth or not. “I saw something that I wasn’t supposed to see, and I needed to get away from it. I needed to go some place where I would feel safe. Someplace where they couldn’t find me.”_

_Without even looking up he knew that Snape had cocked his head to the side as he went through the different scenarios that would have sent him here._

_“That’s fine. I know you won’t talk about it but…” before he could go on with his train of thought he heard his classroom door open._

_“Severus. Professor Snape, are you in here?” Snape saw how Potter reacted to Bill Weasley’s appearance in his classroom and suddenly realized that he had something to do with Potter’s attitude._

_Harry didn’t even realize that Snape walked out of his office, but was eternally grateful when the door shut behind him._

_***End Flashback*** _

Harry shuddered as he came out of the memory and began wondering if he had the word ‘fool’ tattooed across his forehead along with the scar left by Voldemort.

 

As strongly as he guarded himself, as many walls as he had put up around his heart and mind, as focused as he was on his training…he had let himself become distracted yet again, and he didn’t know how it happened.

 

He didn’t know how he let Draco into his mind and heart, but knew that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Not again. He would protect himself as well as those around him.

 

*~*

**Three Months later**

*~*

 

After the fiasco with Draco and Charlie he had totally closed himself off to the emotions of others, not wanting to get distracted again.

 

He had also taken to using his whip, Alfie as he had taken to calling it, every other day. He knew it was a stupid thing to do…knew that at any moment in time someone could catch the scars, but he didn’t care.

 

He would slip off to the Room of Requirement with Alfie for privacy. Each time he entered it was like walking into a hospital room, because the room had baskets filled with bandages and wraps and also supplied ointment for the welts.

 

Ron and Hermione knew what had happened between him and Bill the previous school year, being as they both helped him through it, so they were both shocked when they found out about Draco and Charlie.

 

They also knew that he had acquired Alfie, but both were at a loss as to how he was using it. He knew that if Hermione found out about it no amount of shushing would keep her quiet. Ron was a different story; he wasn’t really sure how Ron would react.

 

But he knew that the two of them cared for him, and really wished he didn’t need to resort to Alfie.

 

After a thorough tongue lashing from Hermione in the Great Hall in front of the entire school, both Draco and Charlie were considered outcasts. It was a shock to the Golden Trio and the rest of the school when even Draco’s Housemates turned on him. It was obvious to everyone then that the Slytherins stood behind Harry Potter, even if their parent’s didn’t.

 

Since then Harry stepped up his training, actually foregoing his classes in favor of training with visiting Aurors or helping Snape with his Potions classes. None of the teachers minded, all knowing that his class work was being done and because of the fact that most of them were training him too.

 

As time wore on he gained more control over his magic, and quickly found out that he was able to control some natural forces with his mind. This included the wind and rain, which he began to use when he was dueling with Snape out on the Quiditch pitch.

 

Dumbledore sent them out there two months ago after they almost wrecked one of the upper floor classrooms during one of their duels.

 

_***Flashback*** _

__

_Harry was pissed. Beyond any measure of the imagination. He was totally pissed._

_Bill, of all people, tried to talk to him today during lunch in the Great Hall. Where did he get the idea that Harry actually wanted to hear anything that came out of his mouth?_

_He tried to tell Harry that Charlie was innocent in all things concerning him and Draco. It was all on Draco, and Harry shouldn’t blame Charlie for Draco and his mistakes._

_The entire time Bill was trying to talk to him Harry stared straight ahead, knowing that if he looked at him he would lose control. He couldn’t lose control, especially now knowing that he could wreck the hall if his anger spiked._

_He knew that he needed an outlet, but he didn’t want to turn to Alfie at this time. He didn’t need his back torn up beyond recognition. He needed to do something else; put his mind elsewhere._

_Glancing up at the Head Table he noticed the professors were watching the show with great interest. They all knew of his powers, and although none of them, except for two, knew what happened between him and Bill. Letting his eyes bounce over the left side of the table he looked to the right of Dumbledore, hoping to catch the eye of a certain professor._

_When their eyes met Snape gave Harry a knowing look and tipped his head to the side. Harry nodded, indicating he understood and watched as Snape silently left the hall._

_Still not listening to Bill he turned to Ron and Hermione and gave them a look that they were used to. When they both acknowledged him he got up and left, following the same path that Snape had taken not two minutes before._

_Arriving in the room that Dumbledore gave them to use for dueling purposes Harry flung off his outer robes and threw them in the corner. Without turning around he knew that Snape was already in the room, preparing to attack at any given moment._

_They started out slowly, getting a feel for one another but that quickly changed when Snape realized how upset Harry was. He knew that just throwing low level hexes wasn’t going to work, and in that instant he decided to test Potter’s skill level._

_Harry felt it the moment Snape upped the intensity of the curses he threw. Happy to be able to expel his anger he threw himself fully into this duel._

_Bright bursts of light were flying out of their respective wands and they were so caught up in their contest they failed to notice the two figures that had stepped into the entryway to the room._

_For over an hour the light show went on. With each passing minute the younger man was getting more and more control over his magic and beginning to get the confidence he was going to need to win this battle._

_Harry knew that Snape was tiring and not wanting to seriously injure the man quickly motioned to him, signifying the end of the duel._

_Both fell down to the floor, with Harry crawling closer to the other man. He needed to make sure that he didn’t hurt him too much, especially with all the anger that had been coursing through him during the duel._

_“Extraordinary my boys!”_

_They both jumped, neither one knowing that the Headmaster and Minerva had been watching almost the entire duel. They were shocked to see the all-knowing smile on the Headmasters face, but not so shocked to see the horror on Minerva’s face._

_“Albus, I know you aren’t condoning this – this unnecessary use of force. The entire castle was shaking with this duel. You cannot allow this to continue. What happens next time if they blow up a wing?” Both Harry and Snape were shocked to hear this and exchanged an amused look._

_“Quite right you are Minerva.” They could see him trying out different options in his mind, and then the twinkle was back full force. “The Quiditch Pitch. They can use it whenever they need to; unless it has been reserved…and even then, if need be, they can take it by force.”_

_***End Flashback*** _

__

That is where Snape found Harry one evening, watching a storm blow in. So lost in his thoughts Harry didn’t realize that he was there so he took this opportunity to sit and watch him.

 

Snape had taken to watching him as he practiced with the other Professors, amazed with the progress that this young man was making. Also, it amazed that even with the untold power that he held he was not letting it control him.

 

_He controlled his power and not the other way around._

Harry, he realized, had also grown into a gorgeous male specimen. No longer the skinny little thing from Privet Drive, he put on muscle weight from all the training he had been receiving.

 

But he also knew that this man had demons that no other could even imagine, except maybe him. He often wondered what Harry did when he disappeared into the Room of Requirement, but never dared to ask him.

 

“Snape, I know you are there” broke into his thoughts.

 

Chuckling he said “I wondered if you were losing your touch, Mr. Potter.”

 

Throwing his arm out he motioned for Snape to join him on the bench. They had done this many times before; sitting in the quiet, being able to think in each other’s company.

 

“Do you think I’m ready? I think I am. I don’t think there is much more that I can learn. I feel like there isn’t much more that I can learn. I already know how to control the elements. I understand how to control my magic. I know so many Dark spells I am afraid to go to sleep at night, for I fear during a dream I might curse something in my bedchambers.”

 

Snape sat there for a couple minutes turning over what Harry had admitted to him. The fact that he was actually admitting something like that should have surprised him, but after training together for the past year or so opened up their relationship much more than it had been in the past.

 

How was he supposed to answer him? Should he tell Harry that he was more than prepared to face the Dark Lord? Should he lie to him, and tell him that there were more spells that he needed to learn? Would Harry even listen?

 

“Yes, Mr. Potter, I do believe you are more than prepared to face the Dark Lord. I could lie to you and tell you that you aren’t ready, even though you are. I would only be telling you that to keep you from the final battle and all the carnage that it would entail.” Snape turned and took in the emerald eyes that were watching him. “To protect you, I would tell you lies to keep you safe. You don’t deserve this; even with all your training you are still much too young to face the battle that is upcoming.”

 

Harry jumped up in anger. “Too young? Do not proceed to tell me something that I do not know. I am too young for this, but I have accepted my fate and know what I must do to end this war. I cannot let more die than necessary. The deaths I can stop by fighting him, I will. I will not allow anymore children to lose one or both of their parents.”

 

Turning from him, Harry made his way to the stairs that would carry him to the field of the Quiditch Pitch. He needed time to clear his mind in preparation for the duel he was about to have with Snape. He knew, however, that his anger had flared up once again and knew that this contest would be one of their greatest ones to date.

 

***~*Duel*~***

While Harry was meditating on one side of the Pitch Snape was doing the same on the other side. They both needed to reach inside and grasp hold of their powers, both acknowledging the strength in anger.

 

When Snape opened his eyes and took a look around the stands he wasn’t at all surprised to find groups scattered around them. This had become a common occurrence while they were dueling; students and professors watching their duels. He had even heard rumors of students and professors alike betting on who would come out victorious.

 

Finally when Harry opened his eyes they both stood and faced each other before sparing a glance in Dumbledore’s direction. He knew that they wanted him to put up a barrier around the Pitch so that none of the spectators got injured in a misfired hex.

 

After showing each other the right amount of respect they took off their outer robes, and showed that both were just wearing an old pair of jeans. Both men could hear the swooning coming from the stands, but ignored them.

 

Snape had taken to wearing them after Harry accidentally set fire to a pair of his nicer slacks. Harry decided against his robes because they got into his way; he also thought he looked damn good in his old jeans too.

 

Before anyone could blink the hexes started flying and when they reached their targets they bounced off unseen shields.

 

Scarlet. Jade. Sapphire. Amethyst. Golden. Ginger. Black. White.

 

All the colors of the rainbow were mixing together in the light show being given by Snape and Potter. It would have been even more beautiful if not for the fact that many of the hexes they were throwing were considered ‘dark,’ but surprisingly none of the upper level students or the professors said anything about that.

 

The spectators saw that neither was going to give an inch. Both were fighting tough, pushing each other to be better, and then Harry started using his other powers.

 

He didn’t know how this would work during a duel, never having tried this before, but he wanted to see how his control over the elements worked while trying to fend off Snape.

 

Calling in the clouds he wasn’t surprised to see them come rolling in. Turing his attention slightly from the duel to the clouds again, he called to the rain. Again he wasn’t upset when his call was answered.

 

They were still firing off their spells when the rain started out slowly. Steadily it began to pick up until they could barely see one another, and Harry placed more magic in his next spell than any other before.

 

He wasn’t too upset when he heard Snape yelp at the cutting curse that hit his foot. When he heard their code words, _lest we forget_ , he let go of the elements and made his way over to where Snape was laid out.

 

Waving his wand at Snape's foot he let out a silent spell and instantly healed the wound he caused. Offering his hand to the fallen man he helped him too his feet.

 

“Again I say it Mr. Potter, I do believe you are more than ready to face the Dark Lord.”

 

*~*

**A week after the duel**

*~*

 

Something had been bothering Snape for a little while now. He had seen how much energy and magic Harry had expelled during their last duel and it had not affected him that much. But now he was beginning to wonder about that.

 

He saw Harry today in class acting as though his back was hurting him. Harry wouldn’t sit against the back of his chair and whenever he got up Snape saw the flinch of pain cross Harry’s face when the fabric of his robes moved.

 

Also, he noticed that Miss Granger and Mr Weasley were walking behind him by about a foot or two, as if to protect him. They were keeping the other students from bumping into him, and Snape’s curiosity was peaked.

 

“Mr. Potter, please stay after class. There is something that needs to be discussed.”

 

He saw how the other two thirds of the Golden Trio looked at him and they were shocked to see him shake his head at them. The three of them must have figured out that Snape knew.

 

After the last person left the class Snape saw that Harry hadn’t moved from his desk. Muttering a wandless spell he shut his door and locked it. He also threw up some silencing spells, knowing that there might be some yelling in the near future.

 

Harry knew what was coming. He knew that Snape knew that something was wrong, and also knew that this man would not let it go until he knew every single detail.

 

How could he tell him why he was doing what he was doing? How could he tell him that he couldn’t handle the pain of yet another rejection, no matter how long ago it was? Could he tell the man that was helping him train that he was slowly falling for him?

 

He felt the spells lock the door and the silencing spells go up too. The time was coming and he still had no idea what he was going to tell Snape.

 

Coming up behind Harry he gently took hold of his school robes and tugged them off him, laying them on the desk in front of him.

 

“Mr. Potter, would you remove your sweater?” seeing Harry grimace at that idea he threw this one out. “Or would you rather I spell them away? Either way I am going to look at your back, so make a choice.”

 

Harry sat there for a split second thinking about his choices. He knew that he wasn’t going to make it out of this room without someone being alerted to his wounds so he quickly made his decision.

 

“Spell it off. Be gentle though. Please.”

 

Snape was surprised when he heard that. Not the fact that Harry had said please, he was learning some manners when they were together. No, he was surprised with the ‘gentle’ part.

 

So, quietly spelling away the sweater and undershirt Harry had been wearing he turned his eyes downwards towards his back.

 

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

He had seen many things in his lifetime, being a Death Eater and all that, but never something this – gruesome. That was really putting it nicely too.

 

He had seen many people take to self harm, but never to the extent that Harry had taken it. He was actually quite shocked that this man in front of him had gotten an infection.

 

Reaching out his hand, he slightly ghosted his fingers over some of the larger welts that littered Harry’s upper back. He could see where many had healed up, but could also make out the ‘fresh’ ones too.

 

What could he do for this young man? He couldn’t yell at him. Couldn’t tell him that he shouldn’t do what he was doing; that would be hypocritical. He couldn’t let anyone know for fear of the Dark Lord finding out.

 

Making up his mind he walked around him and put his hand out towards him. Without looking at him Harry took his hand, and he took the boy with him to his private living quarters to heal him.

 

Harry was shocked when Snape hadn’t said anything about his back. He took that to mean he was disgusted with him, and he was quickly building up his defenses to be able to handle the onslaught of criticism from the man too.

 

So he was shocked even more when the hand came into view. Without looking up at the man offering it to him he took it and was surprised when he was led into Snape’s private quarters.

 

He was made to sit down on a plush carpet that was laid out in front of the hearth of the fireplace. Shutting his eyes he listened as Snape fluttered around, picking up what sounded like potion bottles here and there.

 

After getting Harry to lie down on the carpet he began going around his rooms finding different potions and salves to help heal the wounds.

 

The wounds that he inflicted on himself to forget the pain that he was constantly in. the wounds that helped him forget about the man that would never see him as anything other than a boy…his student.

 

How could he get rid of them? He wanted to keep them. He needed to keep them. They reminded him, every single time he moved, to think of something other than the emotional pain he was in.

 

So lost in his musings he didn’t realize Snape had ceased his rambling about and had settled down next to him on the floor.

 

Looking up at him he expected to see revulsion or anger…really anything other than what was actually written on Snape’s face.

 

 

 

 

_He is angry at me…I am just causing him more work. I need to get out of here. He can’t keep coming to my rescue…he will never see me as anything other than the stupid little boy in his first years Potions class._

Snape saw that Harry was starting to get agitated and quickly thrust a small vial to his lips and made him drink the Calming Draught. As much as he hated doing that he knew the only way to properly heal Harry’s back was if he stayed still.

 

After seeing Harry calm down he started working on his back. The sadness slowly merged into horror when he realized how many different layers of scars there were.

 

Snape realized that whatever had happened between him and Bill Weasley had probably been the event that pushed him over the edge. Something, what he didn’t know, had happened and he knew that the stupid mutt and werewolf had something to do with it too.

 

He had seen how Harry had gone out of his way to avoid both of them, and was at first really surprised when Harry locked himself in his room that summer after fifth year. He wouldn’t talk to anyone except for Ron and Hermione, which was not that surprising.

 

Harry, after being given the Draught, let his mind wander to the past. Let it wander to the event that caused his downward spiral and ended him up here on Snape’s rug.

 

_***Flashback*** _

__

_He was shocked. Just totally, completely, utterly shocked._

_SHOCKED!!_

_Nothing else could describe the emotion he was feeling at that exact moment in time. None of the words out of Hermione’s many books. None of the words that Dumbledore knew in the vast knowledge he kept in his mind._

_**Shocked!!!** _

__

_Standing in front of him, pushed up against Professor Lupin’s desk was Bill Weasley. His Bill. His boyfriend. Standing there, letting Remus and Sirius do that to him._

_How could he have been so stupid?_

_How could he actually think that he had anything to offer Bill?_

_He just some young 15 year old; some stupid kid. He had no future, except to kill some stupid Dark Lord._

_He had no family of his own. Well, unless you counted the family that was, at the moment, sucking on Bills cock and licking up and down his chest._

_Harry knew that Remus and Sirius were together, and he had no problem with that. He actually encouraged it; he loved to see the two of them together._

_He just couldn’t see what would possess them to do this to him. He thought that they both loved him like a son. He thought of the two of them like they were surrogate fathers to him. Why would they do this to him?_

_He could see Sirius kneeling down in front of Bill, with his mouth wrapped around a hard cock. He saw him bobbing, and knew exactly what he was doing._

_Remus moved from the desk behind Bill and started licking up and down his chest. Harry saw how Bill leaned into him when he made it to his nipples._

_And then there was Bill himself._

_He was actually enjoying this. He liked getting all this attention from Harry’s godfathers. He was moaning and bucking into Sirius’ mouth and at the same time was pulling Remus up to him and stated kissing him._

_Did Bill ever actually care about him?_

_Not wanting to get caught he turned and fled. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he needed to get away from here. He never wanted to come back._

_Never wanted to see the office…the door…or anything and anyone that was currently occupying the office._

_He just ran._

_***End Flashback*** _

__

Snape finished working on Harry’s back and was not at all surprised to see that he had fallen asleep. He had worked on it for a good two hours, healing each and every welt that he could find.

 

There were going to be scars, but not big ones. The older scars he was able to minimize, but not completely remove.

 

He had so many questions for this boy – no man that was laying here in his room. He wanted to know what had driven him to do this to himself. How did he do this to himself?

 

Snape had a good idea to both of those things floating around in his mind, but he did not want to jump to conclusions. He had done that many times in the past, especially in regards to Harry, and he knew that it would not help either one of them to do that.

 

Knowing that Harry was probably going to be out for the next few hours he directed his wand towards his bookcase and plucked the book out of the air that came flying his way.

 

***~*Couple hours later*~***

Harry awoke to a pain-free back. How long had it been since his back hadn’t hurt? Since he got a good night’s sleep? How long had it been since he only had to wear one shirt to class?

 

Without moving he opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself lying on a really comfortable carpet in front of an unknown fireplace. Taking in the décor of the room, he realized he must be in Snape’s quarters.

 

_Dark blue furniture. Really? Where is the Slytherin loyalty? Never would have pegged the guy to go all Ravenclaw on the snakes._

Turning his attention back to the walls around him he wasn’t at all surprised to find bookcases completely covering two of the walls. Floor to ceiling, they were jam packed with so many books it looked as if they were going to come flying out at any second.

 

That was more like the Snape he knew. Not the blue furniture, but the need for knowledge. The need to have untold Potion books and Dark Arts books in his grasp, at any second of the day.

 

“I see you have awoken, Mr. Potter.”

 

Harry turned his head and saw Snape standing in the doorway to what looked like his kitchen. He wondered when the questioning was to begin, and in Snape fashion he was not to be disappointed.

 

“Would you care to explain where you received the wounds that _I_ healed on _your_ back? And do not proceed to feed me some line about getting them during a duel. I know about each wound you have received from me, and also any wounds that are received at any other time in which you were training.”

 

Harry knew that he needed to answer the question, but he just couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth. How could he tell this man that he looked up to, was falling for, that he was way too emotionally damaged. On top of the fact that his magic was growing by leaps and bounds, he might not be able to control it at critical moments.

 

Looking up, emerald eyes met obsidian ones and it was all Harry could do to give a slight nod. He knew what was about to happen, so he tried with his might to push the needed memoires to the front of his mind. Even the memoires that he had stored away in his mind.

 

Snape took the nod as permission to enter Harry’s mind, so with a quite “Legilimens” he delved into the many memories that had been pushed forward.

 

_Getting locked in the cupboard…_

_Fifth year…meeting Bill Weasley…happy that Lupin and Black were back at the castle…going out with Bill…_

_Walking in on Bill, Lupin and Black…_

_Running out and coming to Snape’s class…feeling safe with Snape…knowing that no harm would come to him…_

_Leaving Snape’s office later that night and returning to his dorm…getting Alfie out of his trunk…five smacks on each side…_

_Starting sixth year…telling Dumbledore that he wanted his training stepped up…would do it with or without the Headmasters permission…_

_Completely ignoring Lupin and Blacks requests of conversation…_

_Five smacks on each side…need to get rid of the pain caused by them…can’t take the pain…_

_Telling the Headmaster that he would not take any tutoring from either one of them…if pressured he would leave the school and find help elsewhere…_

_Two smacks for treating Dumbledore that way…just trying to help…_

_Staying at the Burrow over the summer, not willing to stay with Lupin and Black…_

_Training over the summer…help from Snape with potions and the Dark Arts…McGonagall teaching him Transfiguration…Flitwick helping him with Charms…_

_Finding Draco at the Burrow after fleeing his father’s rampage…falling for him…not listening to those around him…_

_Starting seventh year…still training and growing stronger by the day…happiness in learning to control the elements…_

_Seeing Draco and Charlie kissing in the Potions room…losing control of his magic…being rescued by Snape…_

_Controlling his urges to grab Alfie…resolve is slipping…_

_Dueling Snape…getting yelled at by McGonagall for almost destroying a classroom…_

_Now using Alfie more frequently…four smacks each time…have to suppress the pain…_

_Happiness and security when Snape is around…even when dueling, he won’t allow Harry to get too hurt…_

_Seven smacks for thinking that way…must not think of a professor like that…must forget…_

Snape was almost pale when he pulled out of Harry’s memories almost ten minutes later. He never realized how much this young man went through on a daily basis. Never knew how much pain he was in.

 

Physical and emotional.

 

He could have, should have, gone and killed Lupin and Black right then, Weasley too, if not for the soft hand that suddenly reached out and grabbed his. How could they do this to him? They, all three of them, claimed to care about the boy but yet they hurt him.

 

Harry thought that Snape was upset because of the feelings he was having for him. He thought that the facial expressions were because of him…disgust, horror…all because of him.

 

Then, in a split second he saw the unbridled fury raging in Snape’s eyes. He had seen those eyes hold other emotions before, but never in the past seven years had he seen them turn that murderous…that black.

 

Reaching out he knew that he needed to calm the man in front of him down before he went and did something stupid. He couldn’t lose him too, not after everything that he had been through.

 

He would not lose another important figure in his life, not if he could help it.

 

When Snape took hold of his hand, Harry saw the raging storm slowly moving out of his eyes. He watched with interest as Snape started muttering to himself about cursing the ‘mutt’ into ‘one of the nine levels of hell.’

 

Snape looked over at Harry and wasn’t surprised to see that he had fallen back to sleep. Knowing that he needed the rest Snape tried to pull his hand out of Harry’s grasp.

 

“No. Don’t leave. Too many nightmares.” Came out sleepily.

 

Berating himself for letting Harry control yet another part of his life he sighed and waved his wand towards his bookcase. Grabbing the potions book that flew his way, he grabbed the blankets off his couch and made himself comfortable on the floor next to Harry.

 

Before settling down to read he thought back to the memories that he witnessed. He remembered seeing how Harry was affected by him, and his feelings and he began to wonder if that was something he was supposed to see.

 

Looking towards the sleeping figure he knew, in an instant, that he was given those memories too. He knew that Harry had total control over his mind and was able to block what he wanted kept secret.

 

_How is it he can tell me how he feels in memories, but not to my face?_

*~*

**Final Battle**

*~*

 

Harry felt it in the air. It seemed like Hogwarts knew what was coming even before many of its occupants. It was as if the animals in the Forbidden Forest knew too.

 

It was here. The final showdown. The last hoorah. The final curtain call. The final play.

 

Whatever you wanted to call it, the final battle between good and evil, light and dark was here.

 

He was down in the Great Hall along with the Professors and many of the upper level students. The younger ones were down in the dungeons or either they had been sent home.

 

Feeling the surge of unwelcomed power outside of the gates Harry turned and headed for the front doors of the castle. He was closely followed by the Order and Dumbledore.

 

They were keeping the other students inside until the very last minute. Those inside were also on the receiving end of the many parents and friends who had already graduated coming through the floo.

 

Snape wasn’t surprised when he saw Harry turn and leave. He knew that he would have felt it the minute the Dark Lord made it to the grounds that surrounded the castle.

 

He made sure that he was right behind Harry, for he would protect this young man with everything he had. He had already vowed to die for him, might as well kill for him too.

 

When the group reached the bottom of the stairs they spread out on the grass in front of the school, and watched as Voldemort broke down the wards surrounding the school.

 

His bright red eyes flashed to the group.

 

“Don’t tell me that you think you can fight me. You have not the strength in numbers or in power to defeat me. Lay your wands down now and I might spare you.”

 

Harry cocked his head to the side, as if he was a puppy. Lifting his eyes in Snape’s direction he caught the man’s eyes and rolled his.

 

“Well, Tom” a gasp came up from the Death Eaters, but he continued “Tom, I do not think that is going to be happening today.”

 

Hearing Voldemort yell at his declaration he turned to Snape and only said three words. The words that became **their** words. The words that grew their friendship and beyond.

 

_“Lest we forget”_

The other man looked at him, green met black, and in that instant they knew that they would survive. If not for anyone else, but for each other. They knew that they would make it.

 

Turning back to Voldemort, Harry stepped forward and began throwing curses at any and all Death Eaters that got in his way.

 

He began small; not wanting to kill any more than absolutely needed, but soon realized that that wasn’t going to work. Drawing on all of his training he began dueling with those who crossed his path towards Voldemort.

 

Finally, when they faced one another it was as if the rest of the battle faded away. They were transported to another planet for their showdown.

 

“Ready to give Potter?”

 

Again Harry cocked his head to the side. It was as if he was looking at a new toy and trying to figure it out. But in truth he was calling on his control over the elements.

 

As the sun faded away he said “My mother died for me sixteen years ago. Many others have died from your hand too. Many others have died just for your entertainment. Why the hell would I be will to give up now? I haven’t gotten rid of your sorry arse yet.”

 

Harry watched as the red eyes flashed at him, and knew that the curses were going to start flying. Getting a better grip on his wand he was waiting for the perfect moment to call in the elements.

 

It started with a stinging curse thrown by Voldemort.

 

Back and forth they battled. Neither giving an inch and neither tiring. Time wore on, seconds became minutes. Minutes were starting to merge into an hour and it seemed like it was going to be a draw.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw many of his classmates and professors holding their own, even as many began to tire. He couldn’t see Snape anywhere and sent luck to him wherever he was.

 

Then, he saw the man fall to a bone-breaking curse that hit his leg.

 

Time stood still.

 

The anger that Harry had been keeping in check for the past two years suddenly began to seep out into his magic. He felt the wind picking up speed around him and started to feel the rain that he brought in.

 

Turning his attention back to Voldemort, he yelled “Lest We Forget” and threw a silent killing curse in his direction with all the anger and power that he could manage.

 

Seeing the astonished look cross through the red eyes was enough to let Harry know that it was almost over. The reign of terror that this fanatical sociopath had orchestrated had finally come to an end.

 

He watched as Voldemort fell to the curse and was shocked when his body erupted in flames. By the time Harry made it to the fire there was nothing left of the man except for ashes.

 

Looking around he noted that many of the Death Eaters that were not injured or killed were being rounded up. He was also saddened to see that many who fought on his side were injured.

 

Then he remembered Snape.

 

Turning and running to where he had seen the man fall he became distressed when he couldn’t find him. Looking around wildly he began to wonder if he might have had the same fate as the dead Dark Lord.

 

Feeling as though his entire world was breaking in half, he felt the world start to slip away from him. He welcomed the darkness that claimed him before he could hit the ground.

 

Snape was ecstatic. Beyond happy. But he would never let on that he was. It would ruin his reputation amongst the students.

 

Harry had gotten rid of that menace to society. Their world was finally free…finally safe again.

 

After getting hit with in the leg and feeling it break he was quickly attended to by Longbottom. Snape was surprised with the amount of knowledge this young man had when it came to medicine.

 

Neville helped him and in turn he rushed to help him when they both saw Luna fall to Belatrix. Turning and throwing a killing curse in her direction he didn’t even look to see if it hit its mark. He started muttering spells to help close the many small wounds that littered the girl’s body.

 

An orange glow caught his eye. He turned in time to see Harry walk up to the fire and nod. He saw as the young man took in the scene around him.

 

Noticing the content expression in regards to the Death Eaters and the pained one in regards to their fighters, he started to make his way to Harry.

 

He saw Harry reach the spot where he had fallen. Trying to quicken his step he saw that his disappearance was upsetting Harry. He was shocked to see the young man start to lose consciousness.

 

Reaching him as he fainted, Snape grabbed Harry up in his arms and took him into the castle. Instead of heading for the infirmary, however, he made the trek down to his quarters in the dungeons.

 

*~*

**Two weeks later**

*~*

 

Snape had barely slept since the fall of the Dark Lord. He couldn’t sleep knowing that Harry could wake at any minute. He didn’t want him to think he was alone. Not after everything he had been through.

 

He had watched Harry over the past two weeks, and knew that over the past year he had fallen in love with this boy – man. He didn’t know what he would do if Harry never recovered.

 

_There was no medical reason for him to still be out like this._

That is what Poppy kept telling him when she visited every six hours. He didn’t exhaust his magic, didn’t get hit with any unknown curses so there was no reason for him to be like this.

 

But Snape knew that she was wrong. He knew that Harry was hurting; wherever he was he thought that Snape had left him too.

 

He couldn’t leave him now. He didn’t trust anyone else to sit with him for too long. He also feared that if he were to leave Harry would awake with him not there.

 

So he waited.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

Two days later he was roused out of a slight slumber when Miss Granger came barreling into the room.

 

“There better be a damn good explanation for this interruption Granger.”

 

He saw a blush creep onto her face but it was quickly replaced with a smile.

 

“Yes, professor. I think I know why Harry isn’t responding to anything.” She stopped to take a breath, but wasn’t quick enough to start again.

 

“Granger! Your idea!”

 

“Oh, yes sir. I think he has locked himself in his mind…in his memories to be exact.” Frowning at her, she quickly continued. “He thinks that you have left him. Not voluntarily mind you, but he still thinks that. We aren’t going to get to him if he has locked his mind down. You know as well as I do that he has complete control over his mind. He was taught by the best.”

 

“Your idea…”

 

She stammered and said “What if you were to go into his mind…his memories…and track him down?”

 

Snape sat there for a few minutes, letting that idea roll around his mind. He was kind of put off that he didn’t come up with this idea to begin with.

 

“If I am to do this, Miss Granger, you will have to stay in this room with us. I will not allow anything to happen to him whilst I am in his mind. You are going to be a guard for us. Do you understand?”

 

He saw as she nodded her head, and quickly got up to ward his doors and the fireplace. They did not need any unwanted visitors or need them for that matter.

 

Returning to his room, he motioned for Granger to take his chair by the bed and he gently sat down on the bed next to Harry. He gave her a look to keep her quiet and began when she nodded.

 

_***Memories*** _

__

_Snape slipped into a memory that he knew all too well._

_Harry had come to him while he was teaching a class. At the time he didn’t know what the boy needed but soon found out it was protection, refuge even._

_Not finding him here, he went on to another memory._

_Draco and Charlie._

_What the hell would lead him here?_

_He began looking around the room and was shocked to see two Harry’s in the room with him._

_The memory fast-forwarded to the part where Snape calmed Harry down. It kept replaying the touch on the arm._

_“Harry” he called softly._

_He watched as Harry brought his hands up to his ears and started rocking back and forth._

_“No. you aren’t here. You aren’t real. You left me, just like everyone else. You are just like everyone else. You took my heart and threw it away. I am so stupid. I did it again. I jumped into the fire and got burned. I am so stupid.”_

_Snape realized that Granger was right. Harry had retreated into his memories when he thought he had been abandoned by yet another person._

_Walking over to the rocking boy he knelt down in front of him, placing his hands on Harry’s knees. He knew that Harry felt him when he jumped at the touch._

_“I am real. I am here with you, Harry. I am not going to leave you. You should know that by now, I will never leave you. I took your heart? Well, you should know that you too mine too. You took mine and I never even realized it. I am here with you, and I will never leave you. I will not abandon you. You need to hear me, Harry. Hear my words.”_

_Harry was there, in his memories. He couldn’t leave them; wouldn’t leave them. He wanted to stay locked up in them for the rest of his life. His only reason for living had been taken away from him._

_Rocking back and forth he could hear someone talking to him, but thought that he was just going crazy. No one could enter his mind so freely. He had control over it, and would know if someone dared enter it._

_Snape knew that he wasn’t getting to Harry, so he tried something else. Something that he hoped would help Harry know that he was really there._

_“Lest we forget. You know I am here, Harry. You know I will not leave you. Listen to your heart. Let it speak to you. Hear my words…our words. Lest we forget.”_

_He heard them. The words that were theirs. Slowly bringing his hands from his ears and opening his eyes he saw the one he was missing in front of him._

_Snape was unprepared for Harry’s reaction. He threw himself into Snape, burrowing himself into the older man’s arms as they wrapped around him._

_Snape tightened his grip of Harry when he felt the younger man start to cry. He knew that Harry needed this reaffirmation that he was real._

_Ten minutes later Harry looked up at Snape with a questioning look on his face._

_“Where did you go? I saw you fall and when I went back you weren’t there. Where did you go?”_   
  


_“Mr. Longbottom healed me. Then Miss. Lovegood got hit with a curse and we went to aid her. I had to help him, for even with his knowledge of the medicines she needed more help than he could offer. I looked back in time to see you kill the Dark Lord. Then you looked for me and fainted before you saw me.”_

_He sat there for a minute, contemplating what he just learned._

_“I thought you left me, just like everyone else. I thought I was alone again. I couldn’t take losing you too.”_

_Snape tightened his grip on Harry and said “I am not going anywhere you daft boy…unless you wish me to.”_

_“NO! You cannot leave me again.”_

_Moving his hands from around Harry he pulled his face from where it was hidden. Looking down into the emerald eyes swimming with tears he felt his heart break._

_“I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere.”_

_“Okay” was the only reply he got._

_“Harry…are you ready now? We need to leave from here. There are many people who are worried about you right now. One of them is standing guard over our bodies as we speak, and I daresay she is probably get more and more flustered as time wears on.”_

_He didn’t want to leave his memories. They felt good. They were right. He felt safe in them._

_But he knew that he needed to make new memories too. He knew that Snape wouldn’t leave him. He knew that no matter what lay outside his body they could and would handle it together._

_Nodding his head, he said “Let’s go.”_

Hermione had been sitting there for a good forty minutes after Professor Snape entered Harry’s memories. She began to worry that something had gone wrong.

 

What if her idea didn’t work? What if it trapped both of them in their memories forever? What if Harry freaked out and went all crazy magic on both of them?

 

So wrapped up in her musings she never realized that Harry opened his eyes and was looking at her with an amused expression. He knew what the gazed over look on her face meant.

 

“’Mione…tell your brain to be quiet. It is making way too much noise.”

 

She squeaked when Harry spoke to her and almost fell out of the chair she was sitting in. Regaining her composure she wasn’t too shocked to see Professor Snape checking over Harry.

 

Knowing that he was in good hands she quietly left the room. She needed to let the rest of the inhabitants that Harry was now awake and resting in Professor Snape’s quarters. Also, that neither one would be coming out anytime soon.

 

*~*

**Epilogue**

*~*

 

Light had beaten Darkness.

 

Voldemort…the Dark Lord…the Bane of Harry Potter’s existence, was gone for good.

 

They hadn’t lost that many people in the battle either.

 

Charlie Weasley.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many more were injured.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many more that couldn’t be named.

 

When Harry and Snape finally emerged out of the dungeons they were not at all surprised at the reception they received when they entered the Great Hall.

 

The House table had been removed and replaced with many smaller ones, allowing for mingling to be done. There were house elf’s running around carrying trays of food and drinks.

 

When they entered using the teacher’s entrance, no one noticed them until…

 

“Master Harry Potter sir. You is alive. You is okay. You is gotten rid of the nasty Dark Lord.”

 

Dobby came barreling towards him. Before he could stop him Dobby had thrown his arms around Harry and was crying.

 

Reaching down and patting him on the head, Harry smiled at him with their eyes met.

 

“Yes, Dobby, I am okay. Thank you for asking.”

 

The little house-elf looked so excited, he ran off stammering something about getting food for his favorite person. Harry knew that whenever Dobby did come back to him, he would have enough food for a month.

 

Glancing towards Snape he tipped his head in the direction of the gathered crowd. He grinned when Snape rolled his eyes but said nothing.

 

Standing up again he looked out at his friends, adopted family, Order members, classmates, Professors and everyone else who had joined in on the fight.

 

He saw broken bones that had been healed. Scars that had been taken care of.

 

But most of all, he saw the ones he cared about. The ones that would have given anything for him and most of them did. He saw the ones he was willing to die for, and just being able to see that they were still there in front of him made his eyes mist over.

 

Snape saw how the gathered crowd was getting to Harry, so he stepped over to the younger man and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. Pulling him close, he began whispering quiet words into his ear hoping to calm him down.

 

Closing his eyes, he let Snape’s words flow over him. He needed his rock there to ground him; to comfort him. This man was his protector and his strength.

 

Opening his eyes he looked at the crowd again and smiled.

 

“We will never forget those who have died unnecessarily. We will not forget those who gave their lives the first time around. They are the reason why we are here today. They are our reason for living. We will carry on, in their names. We will not let their memories become ash.”

 

When he was done with his speech he was bombarded with waves of clapping and cheering. Many, he could see, were crying. They still had fresh wounds in their souls; wounds that would not disappear anytime soon.

 

But they were all together. They would deal with the pain and heartache of loss together. No one was untouched by the death and destruction that this one man had caused.

 

They would come together in their hours of need. No one would be turned away from the castle or any other building in the magical world. They needed to draw together, and maybe in a few months some would be able to survive in this new world alone.

 

Harry looked at Snape and smiled. He knew that they had been through so much, and hoped that there would still be more stuff to come.

 

Snape took in the expression on Harry’s face, and knew that he wasn’t regretting anything that happened between them. He knew that they would have an uphill battle at some times, for they were both stubborn, but they loved each other no matter what.

 

Before looking back to the crowd, Harry pulled Snape in for a hug. Right when he was about to let go Harry whispered in Snape’s ear…

 

“Lest we forget”

 

 


End file.
